I have no idea if I have any followers left but here I am, back again.

I need a quiet corner of the internet to just be able to say what I want and be honest about how I feel. Without family and friends being able to find me. Because I need to be honest and I don’t think think they could handle it.

Kabbalah a jaaaha

(Source: my-lovely-dreams, via silverview)

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lecompanion:

DW +  Look at what the cat dragged in. The oncoming storm!

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aliyuh:

Me, trying to hide from my depression and anxiety so I can have an alright day for once:

My depression & anxiety:

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I just want to kiss him.

I want him to hold me. To hold my hand. I want to look deep into his eyes and run my fingers through his hair. I want to kiss him deeply.

My heart aches. I have never wanted or loved anybody so much in my life. I fell for him so hard. Even though I fought against it. He’s too young, I said. He’s got a girlfriend, I said. But there’s just something about him. Yes he’s beautiful but it’s something else. Something I can’t put my finger on.

And then he broke my heart.

I don’t think he meant to. But it’s still broken.

I’m crying over him now. One minute I am fine. The next I’m not. Maybe it’s my own fault for coming across so desperate. Maybe it’s my fault for handling it wrong.

But you see, I don’t want to blame myself. I’ve had to deal with enough self hatred to last me a life time. I don’t want to hate him either, though according to my friends, I should.

It doesn’t help that he is one of the most gorgeous, most sexy men I know. Have ever known. Just thinking about him turns me on.

I feel trapped between love and lust, bouncing between the two. Head verses my heart.