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Hey I'm Lottie Louise, 32 from Kent. Whovian who loves both classic and new. I am completely bonkers about Paul McGann.
Enjoy your stay :D
I have no idea if I have any followers left but here I am, back again.
I need a quiet corner of the internet to just be able to say what I want and be honest about how I feel. Without family and friends being able to find me. Because I need to be honest and I don’t think think they could handle it.
I want him to hold me. To hold my hand. I want to look deep into his eyes and run my fingers through his hair. I want to kiss him deeply.
My heart aches. I have never wanted or loved anybody so much in my life. I fell for him so hard. Even though I fought against it. He’s too young, I said. He’s got a girlfriend, I said. But there’s just something about him. Yes he’s beautiful but it’s something else. Something I can’t put my finger on.
And then he broke my heart.
I don’t think he meant to. But it’s still broken.
I’m crying over him now. One minute I am fine. The next I’m not. Maybe it’s my own fault for coming across so desperate. Maybe it’s my fault for handling it wrong.
But you see, I don’t want to blame myself. I’ve had to deal with enough self hatred to last me a life time. I don’t want to hate him either, though according to my friends, I should.
It doesn’t help that he is one of the most gorgeous, most sexy men I know. Have ever known. Just thinking about him turns me on.
I feel trapped between love and lust, bouncing between the two. Head verses my heart.